Eradicon Daily
by ExplosiveArtBlock
Summary: Crackfic! Follow the everyday lives of AT0M, HTML, PVP and friends in their pursuit of an average day - yeah, keep dreaming boys.
1. Knocking Out Ducks

**Author Note:** Warning: Crackfic.  
Like, MASSIVE Crackfic.  
This much crack hasn't been seen since the last international plumbers convention!  
In short; it's retarded. Read at your own risk. :)

Follow the adventures of HTML, PVP, AT0M and Chris the Eradicons in their... Eradicon stuff!

**Beta'd by** _**Runaway Deviant**_

* * *

Chapter One - Knocking Out Ducks

Knockout wasn't entirely sure how Breakdown managed to persuade him to come down to Earth for an 'outing' with the Eradicons. At first, Breakdown had tried tempting him with a race, which hadn't worked.

Then, he had taught himself how to brew Knockout's favourite energon and so tried to tempt him with that, but still he refused.

In the end, Breakdown had put on a ridiculous pout and Knockout had agreed out of sheer aggravation and the hope that his assistant would stop nagging him.

He had grudgingly followed the larger mech and the giddy Eradicons to the middle of the desert, where, upon arrival, Breakdown broke out the energon cubes, handed them around to everyone – making sure that Knockout got the flavour he preferred – and began drinking.

Knockout was, of course, sceptical at the thought of the Eradicons being good company by any stretch of the imagination, but he found that after a few cubes they were probably better company that most of the high ranking officers. No wonder Breakdown liked to talk with them. They were completely at ease with him and he was content to sit and listen.

One of them began to recount a race he had apparently won against Bumblebee and begun boasting. Judging by the way the others had reacted, this was a normal occurrence.

What amused Knockout though was when the drone stood up, pointed a digit at him and challenged him to a race. The other drones all collectively face palmed while Breakdown just seemed interested.

Knockout shrugged and stood up.

"You're on."

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, OVER THERE +**

Optimus lead his Autobots down a long dusty through a very brown landscape; probably a bit too brown for his taste. Someone had very recently driven along the road and the residual dust still in the air was getting into his vents and annoying him. His systems flashed a warning that if he didn't get rid of the dust soon, his vehicle form would overheat. Venting a sigh as well as a whole lot of dust, he commed the others who were following him.

'Autobots, transform. This dust is doing more damage than anticipated. If we stop for a small while, we should be able to get to the human base without too many difficulties, assuming we are not seen.'

Bumblebee beeped back a bit too enthusiastically, Optimus noted. The young scout had been the least willing to come along on the drive, but the humans had insisted that it was necessary for them to meet up with them and then drive with them to a 'secret base' to discuss further matters.

Arcee had suggested they drive and Optimus had agreed. It wasn't too far and they needed some fresh air.

Presently they were only getting fresh dust.

Arcee and Bumblebee transformed, followed by Optimus. Bumblebee let out a small electronic noise. Optimus smiled; the dust was far less annoying in robot form.

Arcee stretched her arms and looked past Optimus at the desert. It really wasn't that bad, unless of course, you were driving in it, but it did have its beauty. Arcee never cared either way, but just before she looked away, something caught her optic.

There were tire tracks that veered off of the road. A few possibilities entered her processor as to why, but the most likely one seemed that there could have been humans that veered off and needed help.

"Optimus, look; tire tracks. There could be injured humans if they belong to a human. They look like they swerved off pretty violently."

Optimus' gaze followed Arcee's pointed digit and he nodded in acknowledgement.

"Lets roll."

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, BACK OVER HERE+**

Knockout's laugh echoed throughout the empty desert. Breakdown sighed.

"There goes the peace."

"Whose idea was it to bring Officer Knockout?"

"That would be you, PVP."

"Oh yeah", the drone's helm tilted to the side and he glanced skyward, "Why did I do that again?"

"Because you're an aft," a third drone chipped in.

"He's not _that_ bad," Breakdown said thoughtfully, thinking of the times where Knockout wasn't as conceited as he usually was.

One of the drones looked up at Breakdown. If he'd had a face, Breakdown was sure that he'd be glaring lasers.

"Have you _met_ him?"

Breakdown looked over at Knockout, who was still laughing at the drone who had lost the race. The drone had its servos on its hips and was pointedly ignoring the medic; however it was difficult to ignore him when he was being so loud and obnoxious.

Breakdown vented air.

"He can be a little bit annoying..."

Satisfied with that answer, the drone looked back at Knockout, who had draped his arm over the losing drone's shoulders and was informing him about the 'fine art' that is racing.

"How much did he have to drink?"

Breakdown shook his helm.

"Two. He's a lightweight."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE INBETWEEN HERE AND THERE+**

Arcee looked at the tyre tracks they were following. They had come across a crudely drawn line in the sand and Bumblebee had suggested they hadn't been hurt, but were racing.

The desert was a perfect place for illegal racing it as there was plenty of room and no police around.

Optimus raised a brow plate at that statement and Bumblebee sheepishly moved out of his range of sight.

"Well, if that's the case... we should-" Optimus was cut off when he heard a rather loud laugh coming from where the tyre tracks lead.

"Is that..." Arcee stared off into the distance.

"I believe so," Optimus said slowly. He wasn't sure, but that sounded like the Decepticon medic.

Bumblebee whirred and beeped in anticipation for the 'Con-crushing fest that was to come.

Optimus merely vented a sigh.

"Autobots, be careful. We're not sure what the Decepticons have planned. It could be a trap, or we could walk right into another energon mine. If that's the case, we'll require backup."

They slowly made their way to the cause of the noise and came across Knockout, as Optimus thought. However, Knockout seemed to be lecturing a drone on... something

"...and why is the sky on this planet blue? Why blue? It's such a boring colour! I mean _come on_!" he glanced around and then added in a sing song voice "No offence Breaky!"

Optimus heard a half hearted reply from somewhere beyond Knockout, but didn't particularly want to look.

"Sir... Wasn't the sky on Cybertron blue...?" the drone asked quietly.

"No! Of course it wasn't! It was purple! I know! I lived there for _all my life_!"

"Sir, I think you've had too much to drink."

"DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW MANY DUCKS I CAN HAVE!"

Arcee had decided that she had heard enough for the day and glanced out from behind the rock at the scene before her.

Knockout was using an Eradicon as a crutch and leaning against him while he ranted away, occasionally earning a sigh or a shake of the helm from said Eradicon.

Arcee didn't care either way. She took aim and fired at the Eradicon's spark.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE+**

Knockout heard the gunshot but didn't pay it much mind until he fell over due to his support Eradicon (read: column) collapsing.

Upon hearing the gunfire, the other Eradicons came rushing over along with Breakdown, who followed at a more sedate pace.

One of the Eradicons seemed to be more distraught than the others, kneeling over his fallen comrade.

"Tell ST-3V3... I loved him!" the dying Eradicon coughed, before his visor went dark; the telltale sign that he had truly been offlined.

HTML leaned over to PVP; "Commander Starscream won't be happy about that."

PVP snickered in response.

The Eradicon who was kneeling over the lifeless drone stood up and turned to face Arcee, who was emerging from behind a large rock along with Bumblebee and Optimus.

"YOU KILLED CHRIS! YOU SELFISH FRAGGERS; ALL HE EVER WANTED TO DO WAS TO RACE THINGS; THAT'S ALL HE ASKED."

The Autobots stopped moving and stared at the hysterical drone in bewilderment.

"ANOTHER BROTHER! ANOTHER BROTHER LOST TO THE CRUELTY OF THE AUTOBOTS!"

"Hey, we didn't-" Arcee tried to put in before being cut off.

"ANOTHER BROTHER SLAUGHTERED IN COLD BLOOD BY THE TERRIBLE WRATH OF THE GEARS OF FATE AND WAR!"

"Um-"

"Oh boo, you whore," HTML said, effectively shutting the femme up.

"FOR WHAT IS LIFE TO MERE DRONES SUCH AS US? WHEN LIFE IS ENDED BY ONE CRUELER THAN WINTER'S ICY HEART ON THE DARK SIDE OF CYBERTRON, WHAT DOES LIFE MEAN!"

"Um, AT0M?" HTML tried to interrupt.

"OH, WHAT FOOLS THESE AUTOBOTS BE!"

While AT0M was venting, Breakdown joined the scene to collect Knockout from the floor. He picked the passed out medic up and checked that he was still functioning.

With reassurance that Knockout would live to race another day – unlike the smouldering remains of the Eradicon before him – Breakdown focused his attention back on the over dramatic Eradicon before him.

HTML was trying – to no avail – to try and shut him up while PVP wasn't even trying to hide his laughter.

Breakdown glanced to the Autobots who for the most part were taking this very well. They stared in shock as AT0M fell into the arms of HTML in an overdramatic fashion.

"Hold me! I cannot walk! Such tragedy has rendered me useless to move!"

HTML groaned as AT0M fell limp in his arms.

"Remind me to kill you when we get back."

"SUCH IS THE LIFE OF A LOWLY DRONE!"

The show next to them had roused Knockout, as he begun squirming in Breakdown's arms. He grumbled something incoherent and Breakdown simply ignored him.

But Knockout was soon fully awoken and he began to whine and attempt to get out of Breakdown's tighter-than-death grip.

"BREAKY. PUT ME DOWN." Knockout whined in a childish manner; clearly still overcharged.

The Autobots attentions were drawn away from the drone who was still spewing out a sap story to Knockout who was pouting at the larger mech who held him.

"I am capable of holding myself up!"

"You're overcharged."

"No, you're a duck!"

"Knockout, be quiet."

"I love you Breaky!"

Breakdown groaned. He would never live this down.

PVP made a mental note to find out about Knockouts drunken obsession with ducks, but immediately forgot it in favour of laughing at Breakdown's nickname.

The Autobots were at a complete loss as to what to do. On one hand, it would be convenient to offline all of the Decepticons present and leave no witnesses, however that went against all of their morals; it wasn't particularly fair to kill an overcharged 'Con who can't even speak properly.

Bumblebee was frantically looking back and forth between the Eradicons and Knockout who was now trying to hug Breakdown for being a 'good buddy'.

Arcee was still staring at the Eradicons. AT0M – the one who had had the emotional outburst was lying limp in HTML's arms while PVP was still in hysterics. Arcee wasn't sure whether he was laughing at the other Eradicons, Knockout or both.

"Enough!" Optimus commanded. Arcee, Bumblebee along with the Decepticons all looked at Optimus.

"Surrender, or we'll have to destroy you all."

"OH, THE LIFE OF A DRONE; WE CANNOT GO ONE DAY WITHOUT BEING THREATENED TO BE DESTROYED! BE IT BY AUTOBOTS OR DECEPTICONS OR EVEN OUR OWN-"

Optimus narrowed his optics and the drone promptly shut up.

During Optimus' outburst, Knockout had managed to fight his way out of Breakdown's grasp. He marched up to Optimus and put a digit to his chassis.

"Now listen here! I am the supreme commander around here and you'll do as I say!"

Optimus opened his mouth to reply but was cut off.

"DECEPTICONS! RETREAT IN A FABULOUS FASHION!" Knockout called out. He transformed and drove away with Breakdown hot on his tail.

The Eradicons watched them go and looked down at the dead pile of Chris before them, unsure what to do.

"Well, rest in peace Chris!" PVP said happily before speeding off.

AT0M and HTML exchanged glances before shrugging and following suit.

Bumblebee cautiously glanced to his leader who had his face in his servos.

Arcee was stuck on the spot, just staring off into the sunrise.

"_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?_" Bumblebee streamed from his radio.

Optimus groaned.

"I don't know, Bumblebee. I don't know."

Arcee glanced over to the abandoned picnic that the Decepticons had left behind in their rush.

"At least they left some Energon behind."

Optimus turned around and begin to leave.

"I'm not touching that."

* * *

**After Note:** HI GUYS! Another story from me. Yay.

Except this is myself and my Beta Runaway Deviant writing this story! :B

It's just something silly to balance out the emoness of my usual junk. :D


	2. Of Steves and Bees

ST-3V3, known as Steve to his friends and comrades, sat quietly in his standardized quarters with his legs crossed and a cube of energon on his desk. In his lap sat a data pad holding the latest list of Final Wishes from the Eradicons and Vehicons – every dying breath from the last fortnight recorded and set out in list form for the deceased's brethren to either cry over or have a good laugh at.

Steve wasn't doing either – he was scanning for last wishes relating to _himself_.

Proclamations of love in the final moments of a drone's life weren't uncommon, but lately is seemed that such announcements were directed towards him more often than not.

'There's another one,' he thought as the designation "Chris" appeared, besides the words "Tell ST-3V3... I loved him!" – he'd never even met a mech called Chris, but apparently he was hot stuff lately.

A ping sounded through his room and he called for whoever was at his door to enter.

In came possibly the most drop dead gorgeous mech on the ship, nay, in the entire galaxy (at least to Steve) – Air Commander Starscream.

The seeker moved over to Steve's desk, unconsciously swaying his hips and with a "come hither" look in his eyes, and half-sat half-leaned against the surface.

"How go the obituaries?" he asked in his ridiculously sexy voice, and Steve suppressed a shiver before answering.

"Good, I suppose," he said, tapping on the data pad, "My fan club loses members every day, it seems."

Starscream smirked, and Steve suddenly felt a chill roll through his frame. Truly, any mech who was vying for Steve's attentions had a death wish. "Good," was all he said before sliding to sit on the desk properly, "because if it was getting any bigger, the Eradicons and Vehicons would soon find their numbers decreasing drastically from... _accidents_..."

Steve wished that he had a lip to bite; this seemed like the perfect time to do such a thing.

"Now then," his commander continued, lifting a leg and placing a pede on Steve's chest, "I believe you and I had an appointment to keep."

Steve didn't try to hide his shudder this time.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE +**

In his room in the Autobots' missile silo base, Bumblebee sat tapping his fingers together.

The demise of the Vehicon "Chris" hadn't happened the way that he had wished it, but certainly it was good enough for him.

"_Revenge is sweet,_" he streamed from a human drama, before playing a manic cackle.

No one won a race against the fastest thing on Earth – no one.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR +**

Bulkhead had paused in the hallway when he heard someone say "revenge is sweet", but he hadn't expected said person to be _Bumblebee_ of all people.

When the laughter started up he began to slowly back away, before running as fast as his large frame would allow him to.

Upon hearing such loud footsteps nearby, Bumblebee abruptly cut off the laughter and poked his head out into the passageway that housed his and Bulkhead's quarters. Seeing nothing worth note, he shut the door again and the laughter resumed.

* * *

_This chapter was written by the lovely Runaway Deviant~_


	3. So I Became a Femme

**Author Note:** Hi!

Hows it hanging? Hope you like your serving of Vehicon/Eradicon with an extra of crack!

Todays chapter is written by _ExplosiveArtBlock._ :D

**Beta'd by_ Runaway Deviant_**

* * *

So I Became a Femme

PVP walked down the narrow hallway of the Drone Wing. Usually around this time, there were Vehicons and Eradicons everywhere buzzing about the day's activities or whatever gossip happened to be circulating. Now there was the occasional Vehicon walking around aimlessly – quite like himself.

PVP passed the notice board that the lead drone had crudely made and put up in the frequently used corridor so that all the troops could see it.

Flicking his optics over a few of the brighter notes – most noticeably the list of drones that had died that week. He also glanced at a ST-3V3 fan club meeting notice. '_Half our members were slaughtered last week, but we live to Steve another day!_'

PVP tilted his helm to the side as he attempted to read the rest but to no avail – the rest of the note was torn to shreds and there were visible claw marks. PVP shook his head. 401 was going to be torn to pieces by Starscream one day.

Deciding what he wasn't going to get any information out of the notice board, PVP turned away from the board and marched onwards.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, ACROSS THE SHIP+**

HTML, AT0M and a swarm of Eradicons came bursting through the door that bore a small note saying 'movies' taped to the wall beside it.

A few other drones were already present and were setting up something. They bickered among themselves while the newcomers found their seats and made themselves comfortable.

HTML was flicking through a small selection of tiny discs when suddenly the room fell quiet. After a few moments, the Eradicons cheered and buzzed with excitement. HTML looked up and his visor brightened when he saw why they were cheering.

Soundwave had arrived.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, IN THE HALLS OF THE NEMESIS+**

PVP sprinted through the hallways of the Nemesis.

How could he be so stupid! It was a Thursday. Every Thursday was movie night! It was practically ingrained into their memory cores (unless they were new and still bumbling around wondering if the order and discipline Shockwave had instilled in them was a lie).

Movie night was the highlight of the week – and the movie wasn't even the best part of it. Usually there was a brawl, something dramatic happened, or the ST-3V3 fan club overstepped their boundaries and one of them was blasted to the Pits by Starscream.

That was always amusing.

Venting hard, he reached the movie room (which was really a large converted energon storage closet). Allowing him systems to cool off a bit, he cycled air and then pressed the control pad.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR+**

The Eradicons buzzed with anticipation. Starscream had arrived at some point and was cuddling up in ST-3V3's lap upon a rather large red pillow (probably courtesy of the fan club).

Soundwave was at the front of the room; two of his tentacles were out and he was working to rustle up some movies, presumably from the internet and very much illegally.

PVP walked in and sat on top of HTML who then promptly shoved him off. PVP whined jokingly and AT0M shook his helm. HTML gave him another shove for good measure.

PVP laughed and settled himself beside AT0M.

Soon, the laughter died down as Soundwave held up a servo. He gestured towards the screen that was now showing a few different covers of different movies. An Eradicon stood beside Soundwave holding up a few more covers – discs that had been downloaded and kept by the Eradicons and Vehicons.

The drones began to fight amongst themselves to get themselves heard, but silence fell over the room the minute Soundwave's visor flashed a warning red.

"You forgot one movie!" a voice called out from the back. The rest of the drones looked back and collectively groaned.

"We're not watching Mean Girls again, 703. Stop acting like a femme!" mech from the front yelled at the other drone that held out a Mean Girls disc.

"Boo you whore," HTML chipped in, which earned him a glare from both 703 and the drone at the front.

They turned back to each other and everyone in the room – minus Starscream – turned to look at them both.

"That's not my name," 703 growled at the other drone.

This would be fun.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, ON THE BRIDGE+**

Megatron awoke from a small nap. He moved around on his throne and after nothing happened for a while, he sat up straight.

"What in the..." he murmured as he looked around his deserted bridge.

Where was his army?

The lack of Starscream he was fine with – he was glad to be rid of his annoying second in command. Come to think of it, he barely ever saw him anymore. Not that he cared. Starscream could fall of the Nemesis without a T-cog and he wouldn't care.

In fact, if that ever happened, he would have to throw a party. He made a mental note to remember that.

He glanced around and his face twisted into a frown. Where was Soundwave? Soundwave he was usually glad to have around – he never questioned him and well... never really talked.

He'd used to when he'd first been introduced to Megatron, but stopped talking the minute Starscream was recruited into the Decepticons.

In hindsight, he probably should have taken that as a sign of things to come – as it was, Megatron was sure he was the only living Cybertronian who had ever heard him speak.

He shook his helm and stood up to get a good look around the bridge. It was so quiet and empty he half expected a tumblewire to roll by by, had he not been rather annoyed.

With a huff, he began walking towards the door in search of his MIA army.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, IN THE ENERGON CLOSET MOVIE THEATRE+**

The drones had decided that fighting was the best option to sort out just what movie to watch and were chanting '_fight!_'

703 and the Eradicon from the front were still glaring at each other, their visors flickering in aggravation.

"We're not watching Mean Girls, 703," the drone repeated.

"I can do whatever I want! And my name is Suzie!" he cried out dramatically.

"For Primus' sake, we've been through this! You're a mech and you should act like one!"

Suzie hugged the Mean Girls disc like it was the highest grade of High Grade.

"My creator said I could be whatever I wanted to be!" Suzie cried out.

A silence fell upon the room.

"Shockwave said you could be whatever you wanted to be...?" the drone from the front slumped down and his helm fell, "Shockwave never said anything to me."

Murmurs spread through the Eradicons and some moved closer to each other, apparently shocked by the news as well.

Some helms turned to ST-3V3 who shrugged nonchalantly and continued his snuggling with Starscream whose optics were offline but was no doubt listening to everything that was happening.

PVP turned to AT0M and HTML

"Did Shockwave ever tell you anything?" he whispered to them.

AT0M shrugged. "He only ever gave me and a group of other drones the _Decepticon life is tough and disciplined, but most of all it is an honour to serve. You should be thanking me for even creating you_ speech."

"He said that we were chosen by Primus to help Megatron," HTML snickered.

"He almost shot me," PVP said thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling.

HTML and AT0M laughed.

"There was a glitch in his systems the day he created you!" HTML said amusement clear in his voice.

PVP would have pouted if he possessed a face to pout with.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN THE CORRIDORS OF THE NEMESIS+**

As Megatron walked, he noticed a black scorch mark on the wall and raised a brow plate. He had shot at a wall earlier out of aggravation – that only meant he had passed this corridor before.

He brought up an internal map of the Nemesis and marked out the corridors he had already been through. It wasn't that he was lost, it was more the fact that he only ever went to his quarters, the bridge and the brig. Megatron had never actually gone down to the Eradicons deck, so he wasn't entirely sure of the layout. He didn't particularly care either.

Venting a sigh, he was just about to give up before his audios picked up a strange sound.

'_YOU ARE NOT A FEMME!_'

Megatron stopped in his tracks from the sheer ludicrous nature of that statement. The only femme onboard the Nemesis was Airachnid (and possibly Starscream). That voice was unfamiliar as well, so it was probably a drone.

That conclusion was enough to make him move closer to the sound.

* * *

**+MEANWHILE, AT THE ONGOING DRAMA+**

"I CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT TO BE!"

"SHOCKWAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO YOU!"

"YES HE DID!"

"HE SAID NOTHING."

"MAYBE I'M JUST SPECIAL!"

In the chaos, nobody even noticed the door open to a very shocked looking Leader of the Decepticon Army. He took advantage of this and moved to the back of the room. He noticed Starscream getting cosy with an Eradicon but thought nothing of it. That at least explained his prolonged absences.

Soundwave had noticed his leader and straightened his posture to a slightly less hunched position. Megatron, however, was more interested in the drones who were bickering. He folded his arms over his chassis and continued to watch.

Slowly, the gathered Eradicons and Vehicons began to notice the presence at the back of the room and stopped speaking until Suzie and the drone at the front were the only two still making a sound.

"AT LEAST MEGATRON LIKES ME."

"HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

"HE PRAISED ME ONCE."

"HE PROBABLY WANTED TO BLAST YOUR HEAD OFF."

Slowly, the Eradicons turned to face Megatron who simply uncrossed his arms and grinned.

"Well, since you asked so nicely."

He charged his fusion cannon and shot Suzie's helm right off his body before the two drones even knew what was going on.

"If that's all, I'll be leaving," he said simply. He turned and walked to the door.

"You killed Suzie!" a shocked Eradicon managed to blurt out.

"Boo, you whore!" HTML shouted at Megatron's back.

Megatron froze and turned around.

"What did you say!"

"He said it!" HTML pointed to the drone beside him who soon also found himself without a head.

Megatron snorted and turned to leave once more.

"You Killed Chris-II!"

"YOU BASTARD."

Upon realising who had just died, AT0M made a move to start a lament on the woes of a drone's existence, before being slapped by the Eradicon beside him.

"Save the dramatics," It groaned as Megatron once more turned to face the Eradicons.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

"NOTHING!" they all shouted in unison.

Megatron turned to leave and everyone watched. They heard his heavy footsteps fade away and all collectively vented air.

Soundwave relaxed his posture slightly and looked down at the two fallen Eradicons. He looked back up at the group before him.

"We'll clean it up later!" one yelled, "Just pick a movie and start already!"

Shrugging, Soundwave tapped away at the computer controls. As the movie started, the Eradicons cheered.

"Finally! I've been-" HTML stopped and groaned.

"What is it?" AT0M asked.

HTML just put one servo on his face and he pointed at the screen with his free servo. The title screen read: '_The Notebook_'.

Soundwave had a horrible sense of humour.

* * *

**Beta's Note:**

IRONICALLY ENOUGH, THE NAME OF THIS STORY REFERS TO ERADICONS.

HTML, AT0M AND PVP ARE VEHICONS.

GO FIGURE.


	4. Of Potatoes and Evil Overlords

**Author's Note**

Let it never be said that we don't listen to your complaints; this chapter has now been beefed out to include the drones and their psychosis instead of just being about the scary demon child with the swishy hairdo.

Let it be known that the demon child with the swishy hairdo _is_ part of our head-cannon for this; yes, we have a head-cannon. Plot: no. Head-cannon: yes.

Thank you for your time.

_**~ Runaway**_

Due to Fanfiction being a butt, this has been uploaded twice! D:

Sorry for the inconvience!_**  
**_

_**~ Explosive  
**_

* * *

Of Potatoes and Evil Overlords

"Psst."

AT0M spun around, staring wildly at the empty hallway behind him.

He turned back to continue on his way, but was stopped by another, more urgent, "PSST."

He turned back and saw the servo of a drone beckoning at him from a side hall.

He cautiously made his way to the bend and peeked around to find Steve, holding a large sack of something and radiating suspicious energy.

"AT0M, I need your help," he said, making it clear that it was an order. AT0M helplessly followed the other mech, huge sack of indeterminate origin in tow, to a nearby empty energon closet - they seemed to have a lot of these since Megatron stopped searching for the mineral.

"Steve, what-?"

"SSSHHHHHHH," Steve shushed him loudly, "We'll be found."

The Eradicon shut the door after AT0M had entered completely. Then, with a flourish, he sat the sack on the floor and pulled out something small and seemingly innocuous. AT0M sucked in a surprised breath.

It was a potato.

A Primus-blessed potato.

On Megatron's ship.

They were doomed.

"I bought a potato farm out wherever it is the humans in this country grow them," Steve started explaining in a hushed tone, holding the potato like it was a bomb - which it was, "These babies just got shipped in today."

AT0M nodded rapidly, understanding where this was going.

"You still have your potato gun from last time, right?"

"Yeah," he answered, nodding even faster. This was going to get them all killed, but what the Pit!

"Do any of your friends?"

"HTML still does, I don't know about PVP. Clint does as well."

"That will have to do. Meet me outside the mess hall at 1900 and we shall rain potatoes down upon the unsuspecting masses."

"Hail Potato!"

"Hail Potato."

And with that, Steve disappeared into the hallways of the ship.

AT0M belatedly realised that he hadn't participated last time the Secret Potato Alliance made a bid for dominance because he was a coward and enjoyed living. He wondered for a moment if he could pass off his gun to someone else, but knew that if he did, Steve would likely never talk to him again.

He resigned himself to his fate and made his way towards HTML's quarters to tell him of the plan.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, IN THE WHITEHOUSE +**

The Oval Office was, as usual, brightly lit and filled to the brim with various bits of patriotic paraphernalia. The midday sun outside shone merrily through the large windows, highlighting the rivulets of sweat running down the neck of the President of the United States of America.

White liquid swirled around a glass tumbler.

"So, Mister President," a high-pitched, though obviously male, voice pierced the silence that filled the light-filled oval office.

The President of the USA swallowed hard.

"Can you explain to me _why_ exactly you stopped paying the amount we agreed on?" the boy continued, taking a sip of his milk, "After all, we _agreed_ that you would get your share if you contributed the appropriate amount."

"Mister Esquivel," the President started to explain, "recent budget cuts have- that is to say I-"

"Really, Mister President?" the child in the chair interrupted, "Must we go through this whole song and dance? Fine then," he shuffled himself off of the chair too tall for his feet to touch the ground, holding tightly to his glass of milk before placing said glass on the table, which came up to his chest. He then pulled out a laptop, opened it and turned it to face the President.

"The money or your wife gets it, Mister President," he announced, smiling innocently.

The President blubbered incoherently for a moment at the live video of his wife surrounded on all sides by heavily armed men, before rapidly retrieving a check book and scribbling down a number with lots and lots of zeroes on the end.

He showed the check to Mister Esquivel, who raised an eyebrow. Two more zeroes were added. The boy nodded and instructed his underlings to stand down.

"Put her on the first plane back to DC, gentlemen," he ordered them, and they saluted and shut off their camera. He shut the laptop, slipping it into his bag along with the check.

"A pleasure doing business with you, Mister President," he said with a happy and childish grin, and made his way out of the room.

The door closed on a man, a desk and a glass of milk.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, IN THE HALLWAY +**

Mister Esquivel, or Raf as he was known to his friends, hummed a merry tune as he patted the messenger bag at his side. He smiled at the secretaries and other staff members that he passed, and they all greeted the "nephew" of the President with smiles and, in the case of the lady at the front desk, a sweet which he popped in his mouth.

He casually strolled to the yellow Camaro that sat awaiting him in the driveway and slid into the passenger's seat. The vehicle took off without a driver in sight, not that anybody noticed.

"_≠How did it go?≠_" Bumblebee beeped at him, easily navigating the traffic on the way to the airport.

"Good," Raf replied, smiling brightly and looking for all the world like an innocent child, "I got the money, I didn't have to kill the President's wife to get it and the next shipment can go ahead as scheduled."

"_≠As expected of my Raf,≠_" was the smug reply, and Raf preened.

"Apparently we'll be able to get you that new paintjob after all, 'Bee."

The car around him made a noise of inarticulate joy and Raf's grin stretched further as the evil duo made their way to the plane that would return them to dull and dusty Jasper, Nevada.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, IN THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE +**

The President of the United States shivered as the Camaro sedately made its way out of the White House's grounds. He had no idea, of course, that the car was sentient; he simply shuddered at the thought of the diabolical child within it.

He turned away from the window and trembled slightly at the sight of the glass of milk that had condensation running down its sides.

He pressed the intercom button that would summon his secretary and sat heavily in his chair. The woman walked in with a polite smile plastered on her face, "What can I do for you, Mister President?" she asked.

He pointed at the glass, "Have that destroyed. Burn it, crush it to dust, I don't care. Just don't let it come near my mouth ever again," he ordered somewhat harshly, and the startled secretary nodded and grabbed the glass before scurrying out of the room.

He stared at the ring of water left behind and bit back a sob; truly, Rafael Esquivel was as evil an Overlord as they came.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE NEMESIS +**

It was 1903.

Seven drones stood outside the mess hall.

HTML was rapidly murmuring "oh boo, oh boo, oh boo," to himself in an obvious attempt to keep himself from doing the Cybertronian equivalent of hyperventilating, while PVP was humming the theme tune to Hogan's Heroes.

"Alright men," Steve whispered, "Tonight we strike in the name of Potato. We fight for the comrades who have fallen in the line of duty and we fight for the freedom to grow whatever plants we like on this ship. Are you ready?"

Nods all round, and AT0M peaked into the mess to make sure no one was looking their way. The only mech facing them directly was Starscream, who nodded imperceptibly.

AT0M gave a thumbs up at his comrades.

"FOR POTATO!" Steve screamed, making half the population of the mess hall jump in surprise and the other half duck for cover.

Three drones went down from knocks to the head in the first wave, while others started to retaliate with their arm cannons.

An alarm started to go off, but the Potato Alliance ignored it in favour of finishing off the last of their resistance and then bolting for the door in order to take on the rest of the ship.

They made their way to the bridge in record time, changing route only once when a yelled, "WHAT THE FRAG IS GOING ON DOWN THERE!" echoed through the hall in front of them.

The bridge was empty except for Megatron, whom they proceeded unload clip after clip of potato ammunition upon until it became clear that they were only pissing him off more.

Then PVP started shooting control panels until, suddenly and without warning, they were knocked off their feet as the ship suddenly surged into motion.

"NO!" Megatron roared as it became clear that the Vehicon had fried both the navigation and command consoles.

The Potato Alliance scattered, leaving Megatron in an empty room full of broken consoles and absolutely no idea where his ship had ended up.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, ON THE GROUND +**

The screaming was loud; very, _very_ loud.

And why wouldn't it be? It was almost as if everyone in Washington DC had been dumped into that scene from Independence Day, where the alien ship is hovering above the Whitehouse about to blow it to kingdom come.

It was an impressive ship, too; not a silly saucer as clichés dictated it ought to be, but certainly big, pointy and, strangely, purple.

It was 1911 when suddenly the sky seemed to open up and potatoes began to fall.

Some kid screamed "CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF POTATOES!" before being clocked in the head by one, at which point everyone got the message and bolted for cover.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, BACK WHERE THE STORY IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING +**

_**:**__WE HAVE A CODE P, I REPEAT, WE HAVE A CODE P!__**:**_ someone screamed across the encoded Potato Alliance comm. link, distracting Clint long enough for Soundwave to hit him in the back with a potato that had cracked his screen. The potato was soon followed by a shot from Knockout's emergency plasma cannon.

"THAT'S FOR MY PAINTJOB, YOU CARRIER-FRAGGER!" he yelled triumphantly as the other drones dove for cover.

_**:**__CLINT'S DOWN, I THINK HE'S OFFLINE!__**:**_ PVP told the Potato Alliance members over the comm., leading to groans all round; Clint had been their best shot.

"BOO-"

"Shut up, idiot. If you use your catchphrase now they'll remember you later."

"Oh, right. DISREGARD THAT "BOO", PLEASE."

_**:**__ABANDON YOUR POSTS, MECHS; WE HAVE TO RETREAT.__**:**_ came the same voice as before.

_**:**__WHO THE FRAG DROPPED THE POTATOES!__**:**_called someone else from across the ship.

_**:**Some Vehicon found the ammunition stash in one of the cargo holds; we don't have enough to win this. Fall back! Do not fear brothers; we will return to potato another day!**:**_

_**:**__HAIL POTATO!__**:**_ the cry rang out across the ship, both over the comm. and out loud and then, as suddenly as it had begun, the potato assault ended, and all of the mechs guilty of potato-worship slipped back into the anonymity of being faceless drones.

No one payed any mind to the misfortune of the organics on the ground, who had been caught in the potato crossfire.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, WITH THE MAN IN CHARGE OF AMERICA +**

The President stood before the press.

It was 1945 in the evening, and across the globe, people awaited an explanation for both the ship and the potatoes.

The President sucked in a large breath, seemingly steeling himself for what was to come...

And collapsed into a quivering mess on the podium, blubbering about everything from demon children to giant alien robots while the reporters in the room sat, stunned beyond even the point of asking questions.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, OVER WITH THE EVIL KID +**

Raf sighed quietly as his family discussed loudly and with vigour the events of the day. Namely, the President being forcibly removed from office after suffering a breakdown, in front of the press, while trying to explain the ship hovering above them and the potatoes raining from the heavens.

It had taken him _so long_ to get that damned man into office, and he hadn't even lasted half a term.

'Adults,' he thought to himself in exasperation, 'Useless, all of them."

And with that, he slipped away from his annoying family and went to bed.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, WITH THE BIG GUYS +**

"Really Megatron? _Really?_" Optimus Prime vented staring at the screen that displayed his arch nemesis' disgruntled visage in all its glory.

"Don't blame me, Prime; it was those Pits-damned Potato Alliance freaks that caused this," Megatron ground out looking about ready to shoot the monitor.

"It's your ship, Megatron. You should probably be the one steering it, not your mental drones."

"THEY BROKE MY COMMAND CONSOLE WITH ONE OF THEIR DAMNED POTATOES, PRIME! It took Soundwave half an hour to fix the slagging thing, and by that time they'd already launched their potato ordinances and fled back into anonymity amongst all the other drones."

"I thought you said you'd disposed them all the last time they attempted an uprising?" Prime mused, a smug grin lighting his features at his enemy's frustrations.

"I suspect that they have ties with the Officers;" Megatron growled, "that is the only way they could have escaped last time. It's not as if you can tell them apart anyway; they all look exactly the same to me."

"That's why you don't mass produce your army, Megs," the Autobot informed him, leaning forward, "They either come out wonky or they don't to what you tell them to at all."

"Shut up, Prime," Megatron snapped, "And don't call me that,"

"As I recall, you commed me, _Megs_."

"I WILL DESTROY YOU."

"Yeah, yeah, goodnight you old windbag," Optimus said before hitting the disconnect, promptly cutting off Megatron's howls of rage.

"Now then, where did Bumblebee say Ratchet was hiding those energy goodies..."

* * *

**After Note:** Clint is named after Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye. Whom I love. But every-mech's gotta die sometime! =D


	5. Aftermath

Just a quickie from me.

I still like Runaway's writing a hell of a lot better than my own xD

_**~ Explosive**_

* * *

Aftermath

It had been a week since the Potato Alliance's last bid for power and many of the members of _The Secret Potato Alliance_ were laying low; both in the presence of their fellow Eradicons and Vehicons and the higher ranking officers. Not that Megatron could tell them apart, but by acting like it never happened and continuing to do their jobs and go on missions it helped keep the attention off of the drones.

It didn't help that whenever Megatron was on the bridge, random drones would call out '_Hail Potato!_' and then slink away. They were lucky that Megatron hadn't shot all of their helms off.

Starscream wasn't doing anything to help their stressed out leader either; once or twice he was caught by Megatron discussing the failed Potato takeover with Knockout and on another occasion, a drone. It was obvious that Starscream was taking great pleasure in his esteemed leader's failure to keep the troops in rank and took every opportunity to rub it in his face.

PVP had been conned into keeping a large majority of the Alliance's potato guns in his room and so he could only pray that no officer would decide to come around for a spontaneous room check. Not that they ever did that, but he could only hope that they never decided to.

Due to Knockout's paint being scratched in the attack, he had banned all drones from the med bay. Those who were unaware of the attack and had been shot by surprise were left to tend to their own potato-related injuries while Knockout fixed his paintjob.

ST-3V3 was considerably happy with himself. Starscream hadn't been hurt and he had shown Megatron that _The Secret Potato Alliance_ was not to be messed with. Despite the fact that not all went to plan, his night had ended with him cuddling with Starscream in his berth.

It would take a while longer, but soon the attack would be forgotten – or just forcibly purged out of every-mechs memories; and then when everyone was relaxed, they would strike again.

Hail Potato.


	6. Why don't you talk?

**A/N:** Hi guys! Guess what? Runaway and I remembered this story existed and since we were just in Chile for a month and internetless, we just kind of... wrote. A lot.

So, have some more Eradicon Daily! I have a few updates to upload so I'll upload them every so often and then... well, we'll see what happens from there!

But I'm lazy so ~idk~

_**~ Explosive**_

* * *

Why don't you talk?

It was said among the Vehicons that PVP wasn't the brightest spark. Of course, he had heard this rumour before and had gone to set it straight, but promptly forgot what he was doing when he saw something shiny.

It was on one of these unfruitful excursions to put a stop to these rumours that he came across Soundwave and promptly became distracted. The third in command had always interested him, mostly because he could not understand why someone wouldn't want to talk. Talking was awesome. Who wouldn't want to talk? HTML and AT0M often said that he talked too much, but he thought that they were just dumb.

On this day, PVP decided that he was going to solve the mystery that was Soundwave. Maybe he'd get a trophy and have a party held in his honour if he did.

Soundwave was just walking through the halls – presumably towards the bridge when he had the misfortune of coming across PVP. He stopped to stare at the Vehicon who was practically bouncing up towards him.

"Hiya Sounders!"

Soundwave remained silent.

"How are you?"

More silence.

"I'm great! Thanks for asking!"

Soundwave rolled his optics under his mask and stepped forward, however PVP stopped him.

"Wait! I have a very important question! It's super important, like... life or death importance! I mean the very fabrics of time and space will explode if I don't ask and the world will uh... explode if you don't answer."

Soundwave tilted his helm in questioning.

"Why don't you talk?"

Normally, Soundwave would have just ignored the question, however he had the strangest hunch that this Vehicon would not leave him alone. He moved to turn away and his hunch proved correct when he turned around to find the same happy bouncy Vehicon. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure that it wasn't just another happy bouncy Vehicon, but no, there was no one behind him, so Soundwave only assumed that this Vehicon was the happy bouncy Vehicon from before.

The Vehicon looked up at him expectantly, his visor brightened in hopeful anticipation. Normally, Soundwave wouldn't have cared. Normally, Soundwave would have walked away.

But this wasn't any normal Vehicon.

"It all began when I was a sparkling," he began, "I was born to two afthead mechs who were aftheads. You know why they were aftheads? Because they're dead now. They_ were_ aftheads, they are no longer aftheads. They are now dead aftheads.

You know what they did? The aftheads were aftheads and they beat me WITH A BAMBOO STICK."

"But... Sir, bamboo didn't exist on cy-"

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN."

Soundwave was silent for a moment longer – for dramatic effect – and then continued.

"When I was a youngling I attended school and all the teachers hated me because I was too smart and I knew all the answers and sometimes answers that even they didn't know! It helped that I hacked into the school servers to gain these answers but THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT."

By now, a group of passing Vehicons has stopped to gawk at Soundwave talking – not just talking, _ranting_ about his life. One of them quietly commed his friends and soon, half the Decepticon army presently on board were crowded around Soundwave. Word travelled fast on the drone grapevine.

"In any case, this continued for my entire school life which was a long period of time which I am not going to recite because the teachers found out I hacked into the servers and sent me back two grades."

Soundwave looked down at PVP who was staring up at him.

"Be thankful you never had to go to school, Vehicon. It is like the Pits. BUT WORSE."

PVP only nodded, vaguely aware of the Vehicons around the two of them, watching Soundwave. His voice wasn't as robotic as most would think – it was more of a deep musical sound with a hint of synthetic noise mixed in.

Some would say it was akin to dubstep – no wonder he made such a good DJ.

"Once I emerged from the Pit that is the education system, I was immediately hired as a checkout mech at the local energon mart because I didn't make it into University because of some slag about cheating and I wasn't able to hack my way into University. I was fired from that job as quickly as I was hired, however.

"You see, I hated everyone and so I had just gotten my facial mask and I was fond of making faces at the more annoying customers, but one day it malfunctioned and went clear just as I was sticking my glossa out at the mech. He promptly complained to management and so I was left jobless once more!"

By this point, Starscream had joined the Eradicons and Vehicons in watching Soundwave's rant. Even Knockout was watching from afar, distracted by Soundwave on his way to his daily duties.

"In retaliation, I stole half their stock and used it to start a bar which was promptly shut down because it didn't meet health and safety regulations or some slag. Honestly, a few glitch-mice running around is hardly dangerous! Perhaps if I had a spark eater in my basement, I would understand, but I didn't! The spark eater lived in the _attic!_

"After that, I had to use my good looks and charm to pave my way in society. I became a DJ out of chance as someone saw me having a dance battle in the middle of the street. I was break dancing against some other lame mech. They saw my dance battle (which I totally won) and decided to take me under their wing. Literally. That mech had wings for arms."

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, ON THE CURRENTLY VERY EMPTY BRIDGE +**

Megatron awoke from a power nap (though he would never refer to it as such) and looked around. The bridge was deserted. That was never a good sign. With a groan, he activated his comm. to Soundwave, however he didn't get any response. He tried again, but received the same response – nothing.

He tried Starscream and when he received no answer from him either, he dragged himself up from his throne.

This was the last thing he needed, for his officers to not be responding. The last time that happened was when the drones had gone crazy with their potatoes and- No. He wasn't even going there.

He stood up straight and left the bridge in search of his officers, hoping that the Potato Alliance hadn't upgraded to watermelons or something.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, AT THE COURT OF SOUNDWAVE +**

Some of the Vehicons had elected to sit down. Others were sitting on the ones who were sitting down and the rest were all standing. Knockout had come closer and was actively listening in on Soundwave's speech, while Starscream was sitting upon a throne of Vehicons alongside ST-3V3.

"But alas, the DJ-ing wasn't for me! It wasn't what I wanted to do with my life! So I became a Gladiator and when I felt complete as I ripped out the sparks of my fallen enemies, I knew: this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

"There, I met Megatron! And from there, the Decepticons started and the war began. I always followed Megatron no matter what, but that all changed when Starscream arrived."

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, IN THE CORRIDORS KIND OF SORT OF NEAR SOUNDWAVE BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO HEAR HIM +**

Megatron walked through the halls in the direction of Soundwave's quarters. So far, he hadn't seen any suspicious activity so he was relaxing slightly, although the corridors were empty; completely void of any drones. Megatron supposed that was reason enough to be suspicious.

It was only when he saw a small group of three Vehicons running towards something did he sigh. It seemed as if he was going to have to shoot a few drones again.

He followed the drone and was taken aback by what he found.

* * *

**+ MEANWHILE, BACK AT SOUNDWAVE'S COURT IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE +**

"Would you like to hear the story of Starscream joining the Decepticons?"

Everyone in the corridor – including Starscream – nodded.

"It was a dark and stormy night-"

"As I recall, it was a bright and sunny day in Iacon!"

"SHUT UP STARSCREAM. NO ONE CARES."

Starscream glared at Soundwave and moved to stand, however Steve calmed him, and Starscream fumed silently from his Vehicon seat.

Assured that Starscream wouldn't interrupt, Soundwave continued.

"Megatron had decided that we needed air support. The Autobots were mostly grounders and he decided that air support would be the best way to attack, as grounders can't fly. Megatron took notice of Starscream because he was pretty!"

Starscream preened at this comment.

"But I knew better! In retaliation to his selection, I vowed never to speak again; never, until now!"

Megatron – who was at the back of the crowd – cleared his throat and everyone turned to him. Some of the newer Vehicons bowed, while the others just continued to sit on their friends or stand around.

"Soundwave, what is the meaning of this?"

"I'm telling my life story."

"I noticed."

There was a short silence which Soundwave chose to break, looking away from Megatron and back to PVP. Megatron just remained silent, slightly shocked by his apparently extremely talkative third in command.

"And so began the reign of terror that is Starscream!"

"I'm flattered, thank you." Starscream deadpanned.

Soundwave ignored him.

"Which brings me to my next point!"

Everyone perked up at this statement. Either the drones were all enjoying his ranting, or they just wanted to listen to his voice. Judging by the way that a few of them were _swooning_, Soundwave figured some of them just liked his voice.

But that was to be expected, there were a few fan clubs cycling around the drones that Soundwave knew of.

"I've stayed quiet for far too long! And in that time, I have accumulated a list of things that really, _really_ annoy me, and you know what? Because I'm in such a talkative mood, I may as well just spill all the beans!"

A few Vehicons seemed confused, but others were still just watching Soundwave. He listed off a bunch of things that annoyed him – ranging from Starscream to the after taste of particularly bitter energon, eventually finishing with;

"And you know what really annoys me!? When two Cybertronians get together and name their sparkling a conglomerate of their names!"

Most of the drones didn't even know what conglomerate meant. Well, PVP didn't at least, but he just smiled and nodded.

He wasn't entirely sure how long Soundwave had been here in front of him ranting, but he knew that his legs were sore from standing so long and that once Soundwave started talking he didn't shut up.

However, after he finished his list of things that annoyed him, he was silent for a moment, almost pensive.

"That is all."

And with that, he promptly walked through the crowd of Vehicons (which parted as he walked), straight past Megatron and to the bridge to do his work.

The chatter immediately afterwards was endless among the Vehicons, some even had recordings of his ranting. However by the end of the week, such recordings had all mysteriously disappeared and if you were to ask Soundwave what he had been doing at the beginning of the week, he would have told you – silently – that he was just doing his work as he always had.

* * *

**After Note:** This chapter I don't even

~Slowly ruining _all_ the characters~

I'm gonna say "crackfic" and leave it at that, then!


	7. Such is the life of a lowly drone

**A/N:** Alternativly titled: PVP is a lazy aft.

Hi again! I didn't lie when I said I had updates~ But I never said they'd be quality. OTL

_**~ Explosive**_

* * *

Such is the life of a lowly drone

PVP wasn't much for work. In fact, he actively avoided it. Work to him was like off energon (which didn't actually exist, but PVP was adamant that it did). So it was a normal occurrence among the Vehicons for HTML and AT0M to barge into PVP's room and drag him off to his duties.

Today was one of those days.

Without bothering to knock, HTML and AT0M entered his quarters, HTML leaning against the wall and AT0M standing just behind him. PVP looked up, guessed what they were there for and curled up, continuing to play his game.

"PVP for the last time get your aft out of your room and go take your shift. The bridge will be empty soon without us and I can almost guarantee you that Megatron is gonna shoot someone if it is." AT0M said, moving a servo to his hip.

"But I'm playing Angry Birds" PVP whined, turning to face AT0M and draping himself over his chair dramatically, "I literally cannot move until I finish this level!"

Both HTML and AT0M just sighed.

"I swear to Primus, if you don't get up to go work I will let it slip that you're keeping all of the Potato guns from the last attack."

PVP instantly straightened out.

"You're evil." He said, his visor brightening a fraction.

Inwardly, HTML smirked. He had been holding that particular threat over PVP's helm for a while now, and still, he freaked out every time. It was amusing, really.

"I know, I know; I try. Now then, are you going to go work or am I going to have to–"

"I'm going, I'm going!" PVP groaned, standing up and leaving his quarters, making sure to shove HTML away as he did.

HTML just shoved him back and moved to walk beside him. If PVP had a face, he would have been pouting. As it was, he did not, so he simply crossed his arms over his chassis, looked to the floor and ignored his two friends.

AT0M and HTML both just laughed and saw PVP off to his shift, just in time. As the three of them entered the bridge, the three Vehicons previously on duty left. They all hurried in just in case Megatron was around, but it seemed he wasn't on the bridge at the moment. They all let out a breath of air as they moved to their posts, hoping that nothing eventful happened, or that the superior officers weren't in a bad enough mood to shoot them or something.

But such was the life of a lowly drone.


End file.
